You know, I’ve been trying to get away from my computer more, perhaps just lie in bed and read a book. But I find that without Music in the background, I instantly become unsettled. It’s almost like I need it. I’m afraid of the void left by being left with my own thoughts. admittedly, in my case, that’s just asking for a mental breakdown. But that’s no excuse. We all seem to Be desperate to occupy ourselves with something, heaven forbid we be alone with ourselves.
One of the lectures by a guy called Alan Watts (would love to link it, but I can’t find it for the life of me.) I listened to got me thinking about it. I’ve been stewing on it for a little while. And when we talk to people, we have to talk about the most inane nonsense that has no bearing whatsoever on anything rather than just sitting and enjoying each other’s company.
I’m going to derail this post, sorry. I’ve always noticed that everyone is putting on this pathetic façade to maintain some absurd notion of normalcy. and in the end, everyone is pretending, and nobody likes it. It’s like we are all wearing masks but most of us seem to forget. you know the drill: how are you going!? Good. That’s good. yeah, the weather. And the sports ball. Yeah. The bird (you know, because they are all named after birds and stuff?) team won. people cheerily say. And that terrible accident? yeah, there was a crash like 3 cities away. that’s terrible. And all the while, you see the pain in people’s eyes, like they are struggling not to burst into tears. I know I usually am. Gosh, I balled my eyes out yesterday. It felt good. Finally, something real. no more of lies.
And the person I was with, they tried to say all sorts of things to make me feel better. Why can’t we just sit in silence, and speak with our hearts and not our words?
Actually, I think I’ve read stuff along those lines somewhere. The bible, for one. And many, many other places. It fascinates me how one can come to these conclusions and then go oh, wait. I’m sure I remember reading something like that somewhere. and I found it. I hope you people appreciate it. 🙂
Thanks For reading.