Most of you might have figured out by now that I don’t really pay attention to what is going on in the world at large. Honestly, I live in some kind of bubble. But From what I find when I stick my head out? I like in here, thanks. It’s a war-zone out there. Come. Sit. Leave the world behind 🙂 Honestly. Doesn’t matter if people are on the arbitrarily decided sides of ‘left’ and ‘right’ it seems to me like nobody has sat down with each other and talked. It kinda feels like I’m sitting on the sidelines watching.
And do you take any notice of the third-party? oh heavens no! don’t mind us. Oh no. 😛 . Acting like children is the only way I can describe the behavior of some people. And I am not like most other “transgendered” people. Sure, I have been involved with LGBT related things. But I shake my head in confusion and dismay when I see the way many of these others are. Honestly, It is saddening to see that conservative religious people actually have a point about the degradation of social values and norms. (dyeing hair unnatural colours, Getting facial piercings, Et Cetera.) Oh, and you wouldn’t believe the ‘lost puppies’ you get. Those poor things come in so upset. (I have a terrible case of maternal instinct. It sucks.)
There is a dark side to all of this freedom of expression. I’ve seen it. *shudders* But that is the internet and is a another can of worms entirely. but all of it has the same roots. I was talking to someone last week about transgender and all the rest of it. It was very interesting. They have studied sexology so they actually knew what they were talking about. But what really annoyed me was that they only considered physical phenomenon as a cause. not once was the spirit or soul even considered or brought up. (not even by so-called religious people.)
But those are unscientific, right? Yes. Yes they are. But seeing as Mainstream science is a religion, I don’t particularly care what they think. (ooh! let’s see if we can find a peer-reviewed article from a ‘reliable’ source to go against the mainstream? Wait…)Materialism is an outdated paradigm that needs to be changed. Just look at the mad dash to find the smallest particles in the universe to justify it (CERN). The universe is made up of energy and consciousness is the fundamental element as far as I can gather.
“All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter.” – Max Planck
“Modern science is based on the principle: ‘Give us one free miracle, and we’ll explain the rest.’ The one free miracle is the appearance of all the mass and energy in the universe and all the laws that govern it in a single instant from nothing.” -Terrence McKenna
people actually have started to believe free will is an illusion. I don’t even know how such an absurd notion could ever be believed by anyone! it’s a contradiction of terms. One would Decide to think that they have no choice and believe there are no beliefs. It is a logical fallacy at it’s finest.
And so when people say that such and such chromosome does this and that someone’s body is this way and therefore this I just shake my head. Because everything they are saying reeks of the materialistic paradigm and It makes me sad. People are not their bodies. People inhabit bodies. but if I say this to people they will tell me to take my religious nonsense elsewhere. and yet there is documented evidence of out-of-body experiences. I’m sure a google search will serve you well. You find blatantly biased articles like this. Or something more reasonable like this.
Everything they have said contradicts what I know about it. I’ve talked to people who have experienced it. And they could describe in exact detail what was happening around them while they were “dead”. Naturally, the nurses and doctors didn’t believe them. To me this is an incredibly important part of the discussion that should not be ignored!
For the sake of argument, propose that somebody had lived other lives. Naturally some of them would be of the opposite gender of what they are now. Say they started to become fonder of one than the other? It really is interesting. Or Maybe ignore reincarnation. Maybe some souls are innately male and some others female. And with abortion and all the rest of the tampering going on in these last few years transgender people have exploded in number. Perhaps their intended bodies were aborted and killed and they ended up in the wrong bodies?
Who Knows. And if you ignore the spiritual aspect entirely? there is still much to explore. I don’t really place much stock in scientific studies. Why can’t I think my own theories up? So Here are some of them:
- Twins being linked to transgendered people. Personally I shared the womb with a girl (my beloved sister! hehe.) so It makes me wonder. So anyone who is transgender can you please let me know if you are a twin? thank you!
- I can remember reading a theory (I think) firstborn male is usually more masculine than the rest, and the youngest get more feminine and girly. Again, I’m the youngest! So let’s try and figure this out, eh? get anyone you know to put in their input.
- I personally drank soy milk instead of normal milk for most of my life. For those of you not aware, it contains estrogen. It will affect a child’s delevopment no doubt. I still look about 15 or 16 (or so I hear every time I annouce my actual age) when I’m actually an adult.
- I’m suspicous that there is a link between aspergers and it as well. But I have no idea why.
Anyway, that was the theories. Back to the things I actually know about it. So supposing it really was a mental illness and people could just make peace with the gender they are supposed to be? I tried that. So I’m going to tell you my story. It was a dark and stormy night… heh. Okay.
So I’ve always been a bit odd. When people tackled me in football I thought they were being mean and didn’t understand why they were hurting me. all the usual stuff. I wore my sisters clothes in secret fairly often. When I played video games like my dad and brother I never wanted to hurt anything. Still don’t. I got along with girls better than boys. yada yada yada. Enough about that. Fast forward to puberty. My mother is telling me what is going to happen to my body and I’m horrified. Ew. yuck. I’m looking at pictures of various stages of development. “But I don’t want that to happen!” I didn’t decide to be this way. Fairly standard story so far.
I used the internet to escape from reality as well as video games. I could be whatever I wanted. And Somehow I ended up discovering the thing known as transgenderism. So I read everything I could get my hands on. Mulled it over for the longest time. Years. I could never have a real girl’s body, only a sad imitation. I figured I should just make peace with it. If I couldn’t be a girl, by god I would be a man. So I started working out. Drinking those shakes with the protein in them. I got strong. Fit. Happy even. Or so it seemed. It was like a fragile delusion just waiting to break. I was damn handsome too.
But something strange started happening. I started having these dreams. Dreams of going to the womens section of the store. Dreams of being a girl. Oh, they pestered me for months. So I ended up telling someone about it. and then we’ve had a ride and a half.
Oh, and excuse me for changing topics so suddenly, but phantom pain and phantom sensations facinate me in this respect. I could swear that my genitals feel different t0 the rest of my body in a way. they don’t feel like ‘part’ of me. and men who have their genitals removed due to cancer and whatnot report phantom pain. Transwomen do not as far as I am aware. perhaps there are some exceptions but I am not aware of them.
And Something else on my chest that drove me half crazy! I could swear I have a kind of phantom sensation of having breasts. (likely the brain is wired with a certain ‘blueprint’ and is running on that) Gaaahh…. It’s so horrible! and I feel naked and it sucks. padded bra, I love you. You make things better. 🙂 shame it doesn’t fit me properly. An interesting read about phantom pain for anyone interested.
It isn’t as simple as some people would make it out to be. I have not heard any of this discussed by anyone. So I figure why not raise the bar? There has been tears and darkness and bleak horizions and insanity and madness. And I think for all the arguing, many forget that we are hurting inside. Stop thinking and start feeling for a moment. we are not some kind of bogieman (or woman hah) hiding in the shadows. We are real people. with lives, families and we get up in the morning to have our yummy porrige and we just want to perhaps left in peace like everyone else?