Things are changing rapidly for me now. I’m not quite sure where I am headed, but it excites me. Also, I’m going to be really mad if the end of the world comes around too soon. I was enjoying redecorating.
Hey, do you want to hear a funny story? I had some books I needed to return to the library, right? So I did that. And then it occurs to me that target is just across the road. why not go and have a browse? So I sorta wander around methodically. Looking at the duna covers, sheets, and so on. They all sucked. Big suprise. Oh, do you want to see the duna cover I ordered? It’s amazing!
What do you think? Isn’t it the most amazing thing ever!!! And Yes, I’m acting really childish. You won’t like me when I was serious. Of that I can assure you. So Where was I?
Ah. Most of the stuff at target is just mass-produced junk I wouldn’t touch with a 6-foot pole. But somehow I found myself in the stuffed toy section. And there was this adorable penguin/bird thingy. And You should have seen the stupid grin on my face. I just grabbed it and walked to the checkout. Oh, it was funny! Yes. A gift. Totally…
So I’m walking home, right? (with the penguin in a bag) And I run across this guy from a volunteering thing I’m doing. And do you know the first thing he says to me?
“I just saved 3 lives” Naturally I’m thinking ummm, what? So he pulls up his sleeve and explains he just donated blood. “Oh wow, that’s really cool. See ya.” And I was so embarrassed!He saves lives, I buy a toy. But hey! I’m transitioning my room. That’s what we are calling it now.You know, One time I walked in on my bed crying. I asked it what was wrong… This pattern. It makes me sad inside In a way I can’t describe.” Poor thing. So I took pity on it.
It might seem silly to you, but dysphoria isn’t fun. (just a hint, but when I don’t upload I’m feeling like death itself most likely)
Buying things like that actually alleviates the pain. Next thing on my list is a new alarm clock. I suppose I’m coming to the realisation yet again that my tastes are not ‘mainstream’. I don’t like girly things, I like feminine things. The difference is quite apparent. I want nothing to do with nail polish for example. and Don’t actually own any makeup. that stuff blocks your pores long-term and then you need to keep using it. (I still want to try just once to see how amazing I would look)
But it always cracks me up when guys think a girl isn’t wearing any when she clearly is. Apparently makeup equates to lipstick and eyeshadow. Foundation doesn’t exist, right? Truth be told I’ve started acting really girly and it scares me a bit. It seems like it just happened without me looking at all. Oh, the silly things we do in front of the mirrror.
Nobody must know of this. You hear me!??? I want to get some jewelry too. It’s making me sad cause the last time I wanted to get a ring all the ones i liked were too small and the rest were horrible! Shoot me now.
Sigh. But that’s life I suppose.