Just thought I should give you all a heads up. The regulars that is. If you are just passing through feel free to ignore this haha.
So I’m trying something different with my transition. I may have mentioned it a lot in the past and not really put the effort in to prove myself right. Conventional wisdom dictates that some things are out of reach. bones, for example. Well I’m trying anyway. Have been too lazy to before.
But now? I set that @!#$ up so it starts up in a playlist when I open my browser. (point of performance is the best) I’m so ready for this.And I want to write about the results. And in order to do that I need time. Lots of it. So I might go quiet for a week or so so I can be certain before making a fool out of myself in the event I am mistaken. But ooohhh.. It tingles. It hurts. It makes me hungry, it makes me tired. It makes me silly, it makes me grumpy. And my boobs! They hurt too!
Plus my mother was worried I had lost weight. So I ask her for more specifics. She says in the shoulders and the waist. and I was ‘bonier’ (bigger pelvic bone but same amount of fat?). What is this? day 6? Something like that. I know my hips feel different to how they were when I started. You get used to how you feel. different topography.m All in all a lot of hard work! And I even came out as trans to a bunch more people in real life. Oh, it is funny! the questions. the nervousness! I just laughed at them this time as they stumbled for what to say. I’m over hiding it. What pronouns do I like? Do I want them to use my female name or my male name?
Am I happy to answer people’s questions? I hope I don’t have to do this everywhere I go from now on. That would suck! The funny thing is that my masculine side is rearing its ugly head about now at the same time. Ugly? I resent the implication. Honestly such a statement is unwarranted and unfair. Yeah. That’s how I can sound. I need to make use of it more often. Cause without it I’m nothing but a total ditz who is fumbling through life. I guess I resent having to be that person again. I’m very good at it but that part of myself terrifies me! I suppose I can just be both?
But anyway I will get back to all of you when I am confident that I have officially done the impossible. Otherwise I will come back crawling and you can say I told you so.