Our paths through life bend and turn, and rarely head where we had in mind. But in the end, Isn’t that for the best? How dull it would be otherwise? Though we might stray from the path, the road is wider than it seems. A little lost time here and there, the path patiently awaits our return. But perhaps you wish to refuse the call? Isn’t it nice here by the stream? Ah. Reality is such a bore.
So I have a ‘blog’ to call my own. Perhaps that elevates or lowers me in some people eyes. I don’t particularly mind either way. It’s not like I have any idea what I’m doing. After all, I’m just a person. In any case, I’m trying something a little different today. I’m gotten so good at putting on a face for the world (Everyone does it to some degree). I no longer know what is sincere and what is fake. The Whimsical, Bubbly person everyone knows? The Haughty, Arrogant intellectual? Or is something else? No. Such questions are silly to ask. I am what I am, and that’s all I’ll ever be. Every facet of my being an integral part of the whole.
I guess I get confused sometimes. (I have multiple personalities from trauma). My boy bit has gone to sleep. (yes. That’s Right! And stay out! Pushy little bastard…) Yeah. I suppose it has. 🙂 How many months was he around this time?. I remember complaining about that as well! It’s so silly. I was crying last night. I said some things that probably don’t bear repeating to the world at large. I was disappointed in the world. in People. I wanted to follow the path of truth and ‘enlightenment’ But it seems just about everyone I meet is into some new-age feel-good but has no substance sort of spirituality.
Nobody I know seems to follow the same path. Heck, I’ve almost given up on it myself. I make hardly even a mention of it on my blog anymore. Spirituality is nowhere to be seen. I’m not angry. Not bitter. Just…I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like a mother who is disappointed in her children. People are kind by nature and yet they do such terrible things to each other! Why? Why! Why… Are you really that afraid? I know I’m hurting inside. But we all have our burdens to bear.
Saying that You can’t do anything because of x or y is not a valid excuse. Because there will always be something. Don’t let that stop you. You say you are afraid? So Am I. Life Darn well terrifies the life out of me! But that doesn’t have to stop us. I had almost forgotten about it until I watched a really cool japanese cartoon. Our legs might shake and Tearststream down our faces. We can’t deal with the world, Can we? We have no idea what we are doing. Ah. That never stopped me before. It reminds me of the fool from the taro deck.
Funny thing is that the fool is also the most powerful character the whole darn deck! (but he doesn’t know it yet.) And God watches out for the fool. It’s all some kind of sick cosmic joke.
But hey, that’s life.