You Shouldn’t Run from what you are.

I’ve been doing a lot of ‘navel gazing’ lately, so to speak. And if want to tell me to not be so selfish you might want to go elsewhere. I’m tired of playing along.  Thinking about life, what I’m trying to accomplish and all the rest. And most of all, wether or not I should write about certain things. After all, “The snacking sage” is a thing I made over a year ago. I never really explained why I picked that name. Maybe I’d like to change it. Perhaps my blog needs to be organised and whatnot.

Maybe I should link it to social media If I want more views? (I don’t use it at all, apart from wordpress) Mind you, seeing other people’s blogs and the comments they get? Yeah. No. It’s like a pack of ravenous wolves just waiting to tear people apart. And for what? I Don’t understand. When people insult me I don’t hate them for it. I just try to find the root. (It’s sad, really. I’m disappointed.) What is it that drives decent human beings to treat one another in such a fashion?

I don’t understand you at all. You’re all barking mad. That’s how I feel. And over the years I’ve tried to worm myself into the world at large.  I remember near the end of school I tried to get back into ‘mainstream’ classes… haha. Oh, that’s a story for another time. I’d be happy to tell it though. And In hindsight many of the things people did to me were entirely my fault. But by the end of all these shenanigans? I was like: “Yeah. No. You can keep your ‘normal’. I don’t want it! See ya later.” I came out of school extremely traumatized, in more ways than one. The system is so infuriatingly rigid, takes an approach that to put it bluntly can be summed up as: “My way or the highway”. I could break down every single thing wrong with society today and the Masculine mindset we have. I could explain where left-brained intellectualism falls short. I could comment on philosophical happenings and all sorts of other things. But to what end? People with alarming regularity simply admit that I’m right about all these problems. And that scares me. This is why I hate being right.

But In the end, an artist doesn’t paint for the audience. A musician doesn’t play just to entertain others. They want to get into that wonderful ebb and flow of music that swallows you up and transports you to another place. And I guess I’m the same. I love to think. But the truth is I’m lonely. Really lonely. I’ve gotten so caught up in the idea of femininity I’ve forgotten myself. I’m me. Screw what people say. There is nothing wrong with me. Or anyone else. We are what we are. And that is all.

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “You Shouldn’t Run from what you are.

  1. I enjoy the honesty of what you write, and that’s all it needs to be, is honest, nothing more. Views and comments and likes, our society is so busy feeding it’s own ego that people can’t even look at themselves in the mirror and face unconscious truths that fester underneath. Continue to do what you do, your honesty is needed.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lonely – yeah. Is there a way round that? I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately. I know so many people who don’t ‘fit in’ in a wanting to sit-in-the-pub-and-chat-about-the-match or hang-out-giggling-and discussing-handbags-and-shoes sort of way, but still want company. There’s a solution that’s just eluding me at the moment, but at least it’s there – somewhere…
    And no, of course there’s nothing wrong with you – or anyone else. Well said.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m not really sure anymore. I’ve gotten out a little but I just feel even more alienated with “people”. Argh. Apart from whacky ideas like meeting people on the astral plane (I talked with a friend while sleeping a few times. It was wierd because when I asked them they admitted remembering doing it also) Yeah, That’s a wierd one. Or… Skype? Eh, pay no attention to those if you want. I’m rambling again.
      But really, I wonder if perhaps this is just the way it is.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I have just stumbled on to this blog through tracking down the octagram\star image. The image kept drawing me and seemed almost to have movement. And what a discovery it led to! Your comments on the hexagram/Star of David I completely concur with. That image has always seemed lacking or uncomfortable in some way and not just because of its associations. Then there are your remarks on science being a religion, (amen to that), on art and the intent of the artist, along with the sacred geometry, and the comments on alienation. There is just so much here. Thanks for this blog

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, Thank you for commenting. I feel a little embarrased, to be honest. I’ve all but buried my facination with geometry. Though there a few things I’d still like to say.
    Anyway, I’m glad somebody enjoys my ramblings.
    Truly.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s