Hey, the sun’s coming up. Isn’t it nice? It feels so warm. That’s something that I said to myself not too long ago. Hey there. Many of previous posts were pretty unpleasant to read I’m sure. This one might be a bit better. I don’t really know what else to say.
Well, I guess I can say that my tranisition is finally starting, at least on chemical level. I mean, I’ve been dabbling with hypnosis, but damn! chemicals are the bomb guys. I think my skin has changed more in a week than in like a year. my face was so soft that it actually hurt to rub it with my towel. I’m looking forward to not overheating as much. And not sweating all the damn time. I’ve been going into hibernation in summer for years now.
I still feel sleepy though despite being rested. I guess it’s like my spirit in just half floating out of my body, watching everything (also called being “ungrounded” in spiritual circles). In the past I’ve forcibly wrenched it back in. Terrible idea guys, I wouldn’t recomend doing it. But still, things are finally moving forward. I got a proper perscription for spirolactone, and they much less scary looking than the ones I got from the internet (Shhh.. It’s totally fine.). And the people at the chemist turned out to be really nice.
They obviously figured out I was transgender, I could overhear them talking about it. “Just put it as male”. Oh, and they called me by just my last name, so they didn’t out me as or misgender me. Isn’t that considerate of them? 🙂 I didn’t know it took like ten minutes to fill a perscription though. I’m kinda new to all of this. Also, I think my doctor is secretly a vampire. They want another blood test in a week! worth it though.
I don’t feel amazing. I feel drowy and bored. But I’m sleeping, eating sane amounts of food (How I never gained any weight is beyond me), and even washed my hair! And I started watering my little garden. I have a nice little strawberry patch with lots of lovely little green sacks of yumminess that I’m sure the birds will end up eating most of. Strawberries grow so much better when you water them.
The path I’m on is a difficult and long one. But each and every one of us is on some kind of trail. Maybe some are easy, and others the perilous and dangerous. But boredoms kills as surely as anything else, so who is to judge? It’s not about who you are. It’s about who you can be.
And I for one, Ain’t giving up just yet. I’ve already come so far. Societies standards be damned, all that matters is your self-reguard. Healing doesn’t happen overnight.