Sometimes we act in ways that seem rather strange considering the circumstances at hand. I myself have been avoiding human contact for months, No, Years now because of things that are no longer relevant. Sure, There have been some pretty shitty things that happened to me over the years. In response I shut the world out. I even tuned out my emotions. I lashed out at everyone that cared about me. They were all harassing me.
How dare they? They didn’t understand how i felt. How could they? The pain. The cold, Dark night. Nobody ever could. Screw them. Screw them all and their glassy smiles. I can see the pain in their eyes.
Recently I realised they were just worried. I feel so guilty.
Sometimes we have to feel the cold and weep to see the sunrise. We can’t wrap ourselves up in our nice warm beds and wish it would stop. Because Shivering is cathartic. Because raging and screaming and being a mess is all part of the healing process. If we run and frantically try and keep ourselves warm then we’ll never heal. Shut away nothing will ever break our shells of indifference. Acting on patterns formed long ago from things that no longer apply.
The road is hard. It always is. But isn’t it getting tiring to walk the same paths over and over? In the end, It doesn’t matter what it was. Don’t let your past drag you down.