Speaking Without Words.

(I’m going to ramble, as I said, I think something broke inside I can’t seem to stop the flow of thought seeping everywhere oh, and I never learned ‘proper’ essay structure. Maybe someone should edit this and repost when I am done with it?)

So Some people have been wondering just what goes on inside the minds of those people who are called “autistic” by some. And seeing as I am one of them, We all have a rare opportunity here. Be it by chance or fate, Things have eventuated that allow me to communicate with people now. The Irony here is not lost on me. But That is irrelevant. For the first time in a very long time, I will speak as I do in my mind. I’m taking my “filter” (aka the sage you ‘know’) off for this. I can be rather scary, so be warned. No allowance will be made for political correctness, emotions or any other hinderance to what I am attempting to explain. and if you are not prepared for this,  I would ask that you leave.

Because Our minds are not a pleasant thing. Enjoyment is an alien concept to us (extreme masculine bias). We only wish to be of service to you. that is all. all things are transitory. enjoyment is fleeting. fulfillment is eternal. And so It is with this. I would like nothing better than to withdraw from everything for a time.

So, what is it that sets us so apart from the so-called neuro-typicals? Our bodies and minds are not structured the same. Just compare facial structure. We have angular, oval faces. this is almost universal. whereas you have round squishy faces. But that’s the way many of us are born to think. And there is a tremendous value in it. we don’t conform. we don’t eat junk. we can focus on one thing for hours, even days at a time. And do you honestly believe we enjoy it? No. it is a compulsion and sheer force of will.

But only on earth would people think life was about being entertained. Grab a pew people. And the best part? they act like we are the crazy ones. I can remember before any of this new age fluff about coming from other planets was something I knew about, and wished for something rather odd. There is a primitive planet in turmoil. there you are, watching it from above. you know that nothing you can say will help. With all my heart I wished I could go down there and give that message as one of them.

Funny, huh? I cannot stand watching things when something could be done. So where am I going with all of this? Well. The First thing you have to understand about our language is this: It does not speak with undue discourse and only expresses that which truly matters. In contrast, I would liken a conversation to be a kind of word-vomit that serves no purpose whatsoever.

You don’t need to say how great the weather was. You could instead just sit there with them and look at it. And if they are listening, They will understand. Our language is chiefly about silence. We can’t handle anything else either. But I am twisted and distorted from what I was, and become extremely anxious in the face of it these days. So tell me honestly. Can you sit in complete silence without squirming with discomfort?

And so it is with normal conversation. Everyone is clambering to be heard, desperate for conformation of their little stories. but why do they need to be? It is yours, and yours alone. we don’t do that. So yeah. Telepathy isn’t something I can explain the exact process to you. But It makes me chuckle. My mother’s favorite thing to say to me when I wouldn’t communicate “properly” was to promptly tell me: “Well, I’m not a mind reader you know!” Mind you half the time She knew exactly what I wanted without me saying a word. But she wanted me to learn for when she wasn’t around. Say, does anyone wonder why these things are rooted in speech? Telepathy is a proper word. as is levitation. if these things are impossible nobody would have bothered to make words for them. But my suspicion is this:

Many of these things are simply impossible because of the genetic degradation of the human genome. The legends of a tall blond-haired super-race. The Aryans. and from my own investigations, I can tell you this is absolutely the case (there is probably other races as well seeing as they are the fifth root race in Theosophical Writings). So put it simply, The legends of Atlantis and a great culture that was wiped out is no mere myth. Those are the refugees. And it seems like as they interbred with the natives they gradually lost any kind of “Godlike” supernatural powers they possesed. Not only that, But I’m incredibly suspicious that much of the modern human genome has been tainted with animal dna, manly that of cows. (On Purpose by malevolent beings! probably the so-called greys.) And honestly? I don’t think that all races are equal. Not politically correct, no. But the truth does not change because people do not like it. being brown-haired and brown-eyed myself, I don’t exactly fit that description.

SAMUEL-BEN OCT 7 06 (7)
Me as a child. who knows? note the angular face. and deep, piercing brown eyes.

(disclaimer, I’m not certain of any of this. And Recently I have discovered that I’m rather feminine and talking like this is like wearing an old coat.

I guess I should explain that Our emotions run Much stronger than yours ever would. Why do you think we have such violent outbursts? We FEEL. We really feel. Our language is heart to heart, not mind to mind. Speaking of my communication issues, I generally tell people I “don’t know” or my mother’s pet peeve: about “stuff”, this “thing” or any other kind of nonspecific verb. (is that the right word?)

But what she didn’t realise is this: Whenever I use such nondescript language I also conjure up an image of the object, information relating to that thing, feelings and associations necessary for context and understanding are brought to bear.

And then send them for anyone who is open to hearing it. But are any of you listening? Not usually. Communicating in this manner is so difficult for me. Like I said at the beginning, my mind is just overflowing. I made this place to vent some of that steam. I have only met one person who was open to this form of communication. and they were just like me.

It was quite bizarre, actually. I was walking to my reiki teachers house, you see. And just as I am getting to the door, he opens it up and is waiting for me. And I asked him: “How did you know I was here!?” He Smiled. And simply Replied: “You told me you were here.” I was confused for a moment, and then thought about it. I could distinctly remember telling him for some reason. can’t quite explain it.

They could gaze into that realm and gleam what I was showing them. It was such a relief for once. And I guess I am always guilty of not providing context for anything I talk about. Again, this is a bad habit formed from a form of communication that does not allow for any misunderstanding.

So how does it work? Are you familiar with the idea of the human ‘aura’? it doesn’t really heart-energymatter. In any case, the human heart contrary to popular belief is a though centre more important than the brain. it contains neurons and whatnot. It even sends orders to the brain!

Oh, and picture. people like pictures. Guilty confession time: I had the hardest time learning to read proper books. was not interested. Not at all. I hate words in all honesty. And yet I am a wordsmith. Words lie. They take something and make it less than what it is. In the word year how does that capture the struggles of 365 grueling days of getting out of bed and facing the world? It decieves us and lies to us. Words take everything and reduce them to nothing. Nothing more than a vibration on a tounge. But there is a better way. Vibrations are just binary waves alternating between states, no?

Well instead of using ones vocal chords you can use that field to communicate with people. You can place your feelings and thoughts in that space where each other’s fields overlap. after all, are thoughts not just electrical impulses? That’s my understanding of it anyway. I could be completely wrong. But It makes sense.

So what does telepathy feel like? It is like gathering a bunch of things in your hands and passing them to someone else. Not words. Flashes of imagery, feelings, notions. All of it blurring together at impossible speeds. I don’t know If I can do it justice.

Anyway, I don’t really know what to say now. So I really hope that satisfied some of you. If you want to know something else let me know and I will see If I can explain.